


Something

by C324B21



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:06:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26799289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/C324B21/pseuds/C324B21
Summary: When the pain is too real and there just needs to be something.
Relationships: Delphine Cormier/Cosima Niehaus, Delphine Cormier/Sarah Manning
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

Sarah was running.   
Running away. That’s what she’s always been used to. That’s what she knows best. But this time there was no way she could end any of this by running. It wouldn’t bring her sister back to life. It wouldn’t change the fact that Cosima was gone. Forever. Even if she did try so god damn hard to protect her and all of her sisters. From Dyad, from Topside. From Castor and even Neolution. But she just couldn’t protect Cosima from this. And now that this brilliant science monkey is gone, maybe none of her sisters is ever going to be safe. Except of herself. And Helena. The twins who are immune. And cursed. Cursed to watch all of the sestras die if they won’t find a way to a fucking cure.   
With a loud cry Sarah’s voice breaks the silence of the dark night. As this sound leaves her mouth she breaks down on her knees. Covering her face in her hands. Feeling the wet cold ground underneath, her. Her whole body shivers. She just feels so exhausted. Alone. Done.   
“Come on, you’re going to catch a cold if you will stay here.” Sarah nearly jumps to those words coming out of nowhere. “Holy shite! You just scared me to death!” she answers without getting up. “No, obviously I haven’t. And now, would you please get up and come in with me? Please…” the last word nothing more than a whisper. Sarah hesitates for just a second before standing up on her feet and following that tall blonde woman.   
Delphine heads right into the bathroom, catching a towel and handing it over to Sarah. “You should change clothes, too.” After a quick look down on herself Sarah just nods. She turns herself a bit, looking through the hallway of the small flat Delphine calls her own for a few months. It’s nice, but there seems to be less personal touch. Of course, she didn’t spend this much time in here. Since she has mostly been working with Scott and…Cosima.  
But still it’s clearly the Frenches home. Softly, carefully Sarah takes a frame placed on a small counter. In it one of her favourite pictures of Cosima. It shows her bursting out in laughter. She couldn’t even remember why her sister was laughing so hard in that moment, but Felix did catch this moment on camera – and Delphine framed it and put it up.  
“I miss her so much…” the voice of the blonde cracks and Sarah is too afraid to turn around. She feels her pain. Her whole presence is screaming it right into her face. Yes, Sarah misses Cosima, too. And there is no way to even try to describe her own pain of this big loss. But she can’t imagine how hard it is for Delphine.   
So, Sarah just nods and puts back the framed picture. The silence is loud. But gets interrupt by small sniffs.   
“Yeah, I miss her too.” She slowly turns around – facing a crying Delphine just a few inches away from her face. The taller woman focuses her. Her eyes slowly looking all over her face. Sarah knows what she’s trying to find – but will never find again – ever. No matter how many faces like hers Delphine will see. There won’t be what she has seen in Cosima.  
“She’s not here anymore. No matter how hard you’re looking for.” Sarah whispers. She wasn’t supposed to but still it sounds more aggressive than she wanted it to be. “Just shut up.” Delphine responds and puts Sarah’s face into her hands. Softly stroking her chest with her palm.   
Sarah stares back at her. Watching every little change in her view. Those hazel eyes wandering all over her own face again and again. Searching. “She’s not here anymore.” “Shh…” “Delphine, you won’t find what you’re looking for.” Nothing more then a whisper. Still Sarah slowly is moving a bit more forward. Feeling the breath of Delphine. “Please. Don’t say anything…just let me…” with a slow movement Delphines thumb moves over Sarahs lips. The brunette drops the long forget towel, puts her own hands on Delphines. Tries to get eye contact. “I just want to forget about this. I just want to have her back. I just want to feel something else than this life sucking pain…” with a quick movement Sarah presses her own lips against Delphines. Pushing her against the nearest wall. Forcing her tongue to be let in. After a short second of confuse Delphine lets her do so.


	2. Chapter 2

“Sarah! You said you would be there, too!” Alison sounded serious. Sarah rolled her eyes because she was sure she would not notice. “Yeah, I know. I just…I’m not gonna make it. Sorry Alison.” And without another explanation Sarah left.  
After that night, a few days ago, she couldn’t stand being around Delphine. Something weird happened with herself. And also, with the blonde. She could feel it in the moment their lips met. Even if nothing more happened that night. Something did happen.  
She was walking through that little park, stuck in her thoughts and stuck in her pain. Sarah never thought that it was possible to feel that way. She knew that all of her sisters suffered. Everyone had lost a big part of themselves when Cosima died but there just didn’t seem to be any other feeling left. Just this pain and that big emptiness.  
She also always felt the need to scream. From the top of her lungs until they started burning.  
Again, she didn’t even notice she was crying again until the first tears started running. With a quick and hard punch, she crashed her fist against the nearest tree and screamed.  
“You’re going to get yourself hurt. Physically.” “Jesus Christ Delphine! You need to stop scaring the living shite out of me!” Sarah jumped and tried to hide her hand. Delphine stood behind that tree and stared at the gras. Sarah could bet she was also crying. “You’re not at Alison’s tea thing, then?” the blonde just shook her head. Not looking up. Sarah wasn’t sure what to do. Even standing beside her made her feel even more pain. And on the other hand, there was also a tiny bid of Cosima’s presence. Sarah couldn’t even explain but that what those women had was something special. And Delphine would forever carry a part of her sister with herself.  
A tiny smile formed around Delphine’s lips, noticing Sarah’s searching eyes all over her. “Well, you won’t find it either.” She whispered. “But what if I already found?” Delphine looked up, meeting Sarah’s eyes. “Delphine – I don’t know what happened. But-“ “Shh.” The blonde made a few quick steps towards the brunette. Sarah grabbed her hand, trying to stop her movement. But Delphine’s eyes already turned dark – locking with Sarah’s. Both searching for something. “Don’t let that face fake you…” “Please just stop.” “Delph-“ this time it was the blonde who crushed her lips against Sarah’s. No hesitation this time. She pushed her against the tree, pinned her hand above. With her free hand Sarah grabbed Delphine’s waist, pulling her against herself. Delphine let her hands discover that tiny body in front of her. A body that could be hers. Touching a face, looking just like her. Tasting those lips, nearly as soft as hers.  
Only her own sobbing was what stopped them. Sarah pulled her in to a close hug and hold that taller woman tight. Feeling her own tears falling. “Shh…I know…I know…” there was nothing in this world she could say. And she knew it.  
“Elle me manque tellement…” “I’m sorry Delphine but –“ “I miss her! I miss her so much! And I’m trying so hard to move on. But I keep seeing her. Hearing her voice. Feeling her. And then there is you. With a face just like hers. A passion nearly as deeply as hers. And the bond you shared…” Delphine put Sarah’s face in her hands. Searching. Again. Sarah tried to look down, but Delphine wouldn’t let her. “You won’t find her. Not in me. Not in any of our sisters. Cos is gone, Delphine. No matter how many of our faces you will see. No matter how deep your love was that there’s still a part of her here within you. Cosima is gone.”

**Author's Note:**

> Just something that came to my mind and I couldn't help it. Don't even know where it's going. Could stay Oneshot, could continue. Not sure yet.  
> But I will be really happy if you'd let me know if you'd like and and also tell me if not :)


End file.
